A Note On Birthdays...

Hi everyone! Happy Birthday!

Hmm? It's not your birthday? Well, that's ok. You can still party and eat cake. This post is about birthdays in Cambodia anyway. :)

Presentses! Can you guess which ones were from Aidan?

What brought this idea to mind? Well, today we celebrated Theavy's birthday! That's right, you remember Theavy - she was the one I did a post about being kidnapped, and then recovered. You can already guess one reason we are thankful we can celebrate with her.

This of course brought to mind that birthdays are a subject I haven't covered yet. Awesome!

Theavy is a real treasure, as many of you expressed when you read her story.

So how do we celebrate birthdays here? Ready for a shock?

We don't.

Hurray, end of post! What? I can't leave you hanging like that? Well, ok, I'll fill you in a bit more.

In Cambodia, tradition holds nothing as far as celebrating birthdays. You get married? Great, let's have a wedding! You die? Not so great! Let's hold 4 funerals (more on this in a later post, I promise).

...but celebrate your birth? Nada. Zip. Nuthin.

That's why In His Steps International, and the church here are so interested in birthdays. You see, in America, we throw parties, give gifts, and try to show people that they are appreciated.

At the church, everyone comes forward, even the little ones! That's Elizabeth - she loves geckos, and Aidan ('Dan! 'Dan!').

In Cambodia, people will look at you funny if you ask them what day they were born. Frankly, they don't know, and age of years is often based on the Khmer New Year itself. They might be able to tell you the season, and likely they know what year, but everything else is a blur.

The Khmer Rouge, in their efforts to control everything, destroyed a lot of documents. This includes birth certificates, among other things.

'Ok', you ask, 'why don't they just pick a day and celebrate it?'

Great question! My personal theory? This isn't a culture that celebrates life - at least not how you and I would. Parents aren't usually appreciated or respected until they die. Some people are made outcasts just because everyone else thinks that they did something bad in a former life. No, this culture is more about the spirit life. They worship spirits, pray to them or try to appease them, and base assumptions about a person's character or injuries/sicknesses on their past life behavior. This sort of attitude doesn't exactly scream 'Hey, I'm glad you were born!'. This culture also celebrates money making opportunities, but again, that will have to wait till I do a piece on funerals and weddings.

Ginny's birthday party.

So what do we do about it? Well, we celebrate the person, and affirm them. There's no big cake or presents at the church, though we may have a party for the person later. Instead, we bring them to the front, and have everyone come and sit or kneel with the person and tell them how much they appreciate them. It's not mandatory or anything - it's for friends and family, or those who consider them a spiritual brother or sister.

The purpose is to show the Khmer people that there is something to be enjoyed about living, and that they have value.

We did our best to pack the house when it was Ginny's B-Day. She's appreciated too, and it's good for us to show her that.

I mean, that's what it's all about, isn't it? Showing these people, who suffered through torture and tyranny, that they have immense value? What greater present could you give someone on their birthday?

I can't think of one. Well, except for maybe a free ride in a cow-drawn cart!

Moooove outta the way!

So on your next birthday, or that of one of your friends, remember to show them you appreciate them. Let them know you were happy they were born. Who knows? Maybe they'll do the same to you. :)