Monkey business, and a 3 legged elephant.

Hey, how's it goin?

So, about that elephant I promised you... Prior to my journey to Sihanoukville, I had the opportunity to visit the local zoo with a team. Hmm? No, this was purely a pleasure trip. We weren't renovating the zoo, leading the sun bears in worship service, or teaching the monkeys self defense (like they'd need it!). We came as more of a nice way to relax. It also let me spend a little time with the team from The Mill in Colorado Springs.

I haven't written much about these guys yet due to the detour to the beach, but rest assured, the story will be told.

Baby deer!!!

The zoo, if one wants to be loose with the definition, consisted mostly of animals of questionable health (and sanity, in the case of the monkeys), and a lot of chain link fence. There was single chain - useful apparently for monkeys, crocodiles, and elephants - and double chain, for the bears and lions.

That's right folks! The stuff your neighbor uses to hold back his Scott Terrier? Yep, that's it. :)

At this gathering, we taught the team and the accompanying Cambodians not to feed the monkeys...

As you have already gathered, visiting a zoo here is a little different than back home. In America, zoos allow certain creatures to roam free, such as peacocks, and put the more dangerous ones behind bars (note that I did not say 'rusty chain fence'). Here, the zoo puts the only peacock behind the fence (probably to keep it from being lunch for some wandering hungry person - there aren't many birds in Phnom Penh for a reason), and lets the monkeys roam free. Well, the ones they can't catch, anyway.

Hmm? Why do I talk about the monkeys so much? Ok, lemme give you a rundown, then we'll move forward.

1. Monkeys are thieves. They like to run up to you, slap anything out of your hand, and take off for the jungle. Bye-bye nice iPhone 5!

2. Monkeys are mean. Don't believe me? Try hand feeding one (no.), throwing things at them (again, no.), or walking close to one with food in your hand (Sorry, did you like that appendage? Oops.).

...and this is the monkey they (the Cambodians) immediately started throwing food at.

3. Monkeys don't like to talk about their disabilities. No, really! While walking past a monkey, I asked in surprise "Does that monkey only have 3 feet?!?". I received a reply from a certain red-haired intern (see previous posts) "No, it has two arms and a leg..." she said something after this, but it was overridden by the monkey slamming itself into the cage and grabbing at her. So, just be PC when it comes to monkeys, ok?

Not monkeys.

We headed from there to see some birds. They also had some cool bats, whose cage consisted of a large, ratty tarp and more chain link fencing. They had a few other avian creatures, such as owls and myna birds you could hand feed, but really, bats are cooler.

Wonder if bats can see colors...?

We encountered some various cow and ox-like creatures further in. These, too, you could hand feed (eww, ox slobber!) if you bought something from one of the vendors that constantly follows you from cage to cage. The ice cream guy was fun to have around, but I'm not so sure about the strange-tubers-on-her-hat lady.

Don't eat the bears, folks.

All in all, it was a fun outing getting to know the Mill team one by one. As far as safaris go though, that happened after I got separated from the group.


As it happens, Solomon and a couple of other more adventurous Khmer decided they wanted to go left at a fork that the others went right on. Solomon asked me if I wanted to come.


Well, I'm here to have an adventure, right? So off I went!


My new group led me to see some peculiar-looking animals. They were small - maybe 5 foot end to end - and sat up and begged for food.


Introducing the Sun Bear!

Isn't he cuuuuute?

Yes, technically you can feed the bears (there's a fine line between adventurous and hospital bill, you know) if you can convince a vendor to follow you to one. There's no security here (except at the bathrooms to make sure you pay to use them), so if one of these guys just tugs at your heartstrings...

...I don't really have to tell you no again, do I? :)

Wild Jacob in its natural habitat. Scientific name [Technologicus iPhonus Sapiens].

 We left the bears unfed and uneaten (we follow the rules here, thank you!) and headed to the elephant enclosure. It's there that I got to meet the star of this post, the three-legged elephant.

He's just a baby, with a fake baby-elephant-leg!! :( Not fair.

This chap apparently managed to wander into a trap in the jungle. He was rescued and brought to this zoo, where a new leg was fashioned using what looks to be bicycle tires, coconut husks, and a hollowed out tree with some straps thrown in.



I'll be honest, this lil guy touched my heart. Not just because he's got the pirate leg, but also because he was, you guessed it, hungry.



Apparently this zoo relies on tourists to feed the poor creatures. Anyone with a bunch of money feel free to come over here and buy the place.








We found the rest of the group shortly thereafter, and enjoyed some of the aforementioned ice cream.

Swinging on a vine. Still not a monkey.

In a tree. You guessed it. Not monkeys. (love the shirt though!)

So, how do you wind down an excellent day wandering amongst God's creatures? Why, we do it Cambodian style!

Zzz....

...in rent-a-hammocks! Yes, for the low price of 50 cents, you too can snooze out under a thatch roof in the jungle surrounded by velociraptors... er... cute fuzzy simians. Awesome!

Well, that about wraps it up. There were many animals to see here, even if they were mostly hungry. We left agreeing that the zoo probably wasn't the best place for these creatures. Not much we can do about it though, except to hope that the entrance fee does go toward the upkeep somehow.

Still, the saddest thing of all wasn't the poor elephant...

They just pop right onto the road out of nowhere!

 ...it's the beggars. You see, the road to the zoo is practically paved with them. I spotted at least 20 on the way in and out.

Why is this sad? Because, unlike the pics I've shown you of people missing legs or whatnot, these people were all healthy (when you weren't looking at them). What's more, we were informed that this was the only job they had year round. Begging.

When you come, please check with someone before giving money to a beggar. Some are legit, but many are just trying to scam you in some way. To me, with all the needy here, that's truly sad.

But hey, at least we can do something about the people. That's what the Ministry is for, yeah? If any of you are ever interested in helping the widows, orphans, or the trafficked and abused, shoot me an email. I'll get you in touch with the right people. Ryincambodia@gmail.com.

Lego Coral

Hello I am going to take over my daddy's blog.

The entrance.

I went to a hotel.

We got ice cream.

Mommy got me a big chunk of coral.

Valuable for science... and Legos.

We let it out to dry on the balcony.

I use the coral to play Lego Atlantis.

We also found pop-tabs, bottle caps... very small rocks...

We went treasure hunting.

We found a cell phone battery.

He loved this thing.

We saw an old fashioned telephone.

Lots of splashing, not much catching.

I got to play football with my Tah in the pool.

But my favorite thing was wave jumping with Mommy.

A 3 hour tour...

Life's a beach! :)

Ok, so I promised you one last adventure in Sihnoukville. As I mentioned, we did some exploration of the local offshore islands. By explore, I mean of course that Jess and Eric took lots of photos, while I had fun scrabbling my way into the boat. 

EHP. See the rusty, rebar ladder? Right.

What do I mean by that? Well, let me do some backtracking. You see, we were met by a gentleman while sitting out under an umbrella shortly after we arrived. This man promised us adventure, photo opportunities, and good food... all for 'a very special price for you'.

Right. Make notes here - when negotiating boat rides to and from islands, always check the details before you sign on.

What? Unsafe? Why, nothing could be further from the truth. ;)

Detail 1: How many people are going with you?

Answer: You will be told 6-8 and you should expect closer to 15... or maybe 20 if we're doing this Cambodians-on-motos style.

Detail 2: Where will we board?

Answer: Assume it's at the nice, newly built dock a few yards away. In reality, you'll be boarding in the nice, wet ocean, a few dozen yards offshore.




Detail 3: Will I get wet?

Answer: "No, just up to your knees." - This will be said to you while a crew member is heading out to the boat and is subsequently swallowed by a mammoth wave. Well, my knees did get wet....

Near-drownings and wishes that we had actually worn bathing suits aside, the trip out to the islands was quite pleasant. We stopped at one of the closer islands to allow our boatmates to hop out and snorkel a bit.

Helllooooo! Can you hear meee? Cooommmee baaaacckkk!

We found out in very short order exactly how many of our boatmates were strong swimmers (none) and how many would flop around like an octopus caught in a bowl of Jello (pretty much all of them). Hilarity ensued, and eventually the boatmaster started throwing ropes to them whenever people went out swimming.

Welcome, to Jurassic Par... oh, wait. Wrong island!

The island itself was incredible. For the most part, it was wild, untamed jungle broken apart occasionally by serene beaches.

One thing I really want you all to understand is just how utterly beautiful everything was. The ocean was a gorgeous sapphire blue, with patches of coral reefs lightening the tone to emerald in places. The islands themselves were a contrast of thick overgrowth and gentle sands, with the surf beating out a steady rhythm. You cannot stand with your feet in the sand and not marvel at creation. Truly, make this a must-see should you ever visit.

Best kind of fork in the road, yeah?

Our next stop was bamboo island, where we were directed to once again enjoy the hospitality of the rusty tetanus-trap of a ladder. I opted to jump off the boat instead. What? Can you blame me?

Just imagine looking at this from your beach chair and hearing nothing but waves.

After a quick setup, the intrepid photographers left me with our belongings to seek after the perfect lighting.



Me? I have an iPhone camera. It has 2 settings - clean lens, and dirty lens. :)







Many of the pictures you see on this post that look so professional were either my wife, or Eric. There's some great places to spend your day with a camera on these islands, and it shows.

After a nice lunch of BBQ'd Barracuda and some sun-warmed fruit (my mouth waters at the thought), we headed on a 10 minute trek through the wilds to the other side of the island.

What did we find there? Was it giant, soft-shelled turtles laying their eggs? Was it a half-frozen boy clinging to a raft? Were there survivors from a plane crash and a smoke monster?





Sorry folks. This ain't National Geographic, LOST, or a remake of Titanic. All we found was a secluded beach and an abandoned ex-hippie-commune.





Not that it's any less exciting. You see, there was NOBODY on this beach. Empty grass huts and an old firepit, sun, surf and sand. It was a sunbather's dream!




When you come, take the tour. Take the hike. It's very, very worth it.

One of Jess' awesome photos. It looks old, but 4 of our English compatriots managed to pile on without breaking it.

We sauntered around for a bit, snapping pictures and enjoying the ocean breeze. I even made a friend...

Eric's photo. Note the lack of shyness in this crab.

This lil guy loved me. So much so, that he just had to touch me... with every claw, pointy leg and feeler he had. He also liked to hug with said claws, which is one reason why he didn't make the trip home with us.

We ended with a short trip to another snorkel spot, where we watched some very-tired passengers re-attempt the swimming thing. Still funny, just slower.

Well, that ends our journey to Sihanoukville. We had a blast, ate good, good seafood, and got burnt. What else can you expect in a great vacation?

Next up, I have a three-legged elephant I want you to meet. :)

Reason #427 you should come here.

Reason #427 you should come here. (EHP photo)

As it was once said, a journey of a thousand miles begins with but 1 step. What's never talked about though, is the next bit. What's at the end of those thousand miles? Is it good? Bad? A set of really steep stairs? Honestly, I don't know, but I can tell you what came after the end of the road trip.

...#428

Sihanoukville is beautiful. The skies are nearly always picture perfect, the sand is the consistency of warm brown sugar, and if you know where to go, you can always find a secluded spot to chill. For me, I found a number of favorite haunts and hangouts.

Two words. Unlimited. Aircon.

My first fav, of course, was the hotel. The Golden Sands is quite reasonably priced. For 44$, you get a nice room, soft bed, air conditioning (see caption), and a nice view of the ocean and pool.



You also get a fridge full of soda (Still have to pay for it. Sorry!), some free bottled water (useful!), and an in-room safe which likely doesn't work. Rule of thumb for staying in a hotel here - take your valuables with you, or lock them in the car if they are too large to carry. This will give you more peace of mind, and criminals less reason to visit.

View from the room. See the ocean in the back?

The hotel includes a restaurant, complete with an all you can eat breakfast bar. The fried chicken wings (Yes, fried chicken is breakfast here. So is bacon. I told you - awesomeness.) were a particular hit with Ginny and Aidan.

Surfer dude.

While that was great, we actually ate most of our meals at Sorin, a nice little cafe and BBQ joint within walking distance of the hotel. Sorin serves some excellent food, especially seafood and incredible onion rings.


That's another point to mention about this place as opposed to Phnom Penh. Walking around Phnom Penh, I've encountered some of the deadliest walking conditions you could imagine. Just the other day, a moto coming from behind came so close, that had I raised my arm, I would have elbowed him in the jaw.




Walking in Sihanoukville is different. There's not many vehicles on the road, and if you need to go somewhere, almost all of the tuctuc drivers speak English. There's also that nice beach-y air to keep your spirits uplifted. Nice, huh?

At any rate, I digress - the best hang out of all is a no-brainer...

The islands you see in the distance are quite open to visitors. I'll catch you up on that part of the trip next time!

...the beach! Yes, the sand, the sun... gorgeous blue and green waters... it was by far the best place to be. Along the sands you'll encounter almost anything. There's a plethora of eateries - most of which make shakes or tasty fruity drinks (Jess loved the Dtuek Kroah Chimah - ice lemon water. It's like lemonade, but with mad ninja skills). There's also chairs and umbrellas for rent - only $2.50 - and a number of masseuse on hand ready to help you relax.

This lil' guy is still in school, and works to help his family. We checked. :)

 For souvenirs, a multitude of children are willing to sell you shells or handmade rope trinkets. Do be careful on this point though. Some of these kids have been trafficked, and are being forced to do this against their will. It's important to ask them if they are still in school, and why they sell on the beach.

It's supposed to be 'Serendipity', but wooden planks are expensive, you know. ;)

The other point of interest worth noting is that when you come, make sure you go to the Khmai side of the beach. How will you know which one that is? Keep walking until you see a beach free of trash and that doesn't have very many beggars. You'll find friendlier people there, as well as a touch more honesty in dealing with the vendors.

Well, for now, that about covers it. For all you beach lovers, my next post on Sihanoukville will take us to several offshore - and mostly deserted - islands. Yes, there will be sand... surf... and he passengers of Oceanic Flight... oh wait, that's a different island.

See you soon. :)

Road trip to Sihanoukville!

So, all set to hear about the awesomeness that is Sihanoukville? After the little teaser I left, I would imagine you are at least a little curious.

It is quite wonderful. Visit already!

It was decided that after 3 months of living here, it was high time we got out and saw more of Cambodia. Thus vacation #1 in what I hope will be a lifetime of family trips. After all, one of my primary reasons for coming here was family.

The road trip from Phnom Penh isn't that far. By rights, you should be able to get there in a couple of hours, provided you can maintain a steady clip of 65 or 70 mph... 125 kph or so for those of you joining in from around the world.

Scenic fields of rice await you on your journey to paradise. I'm a poet and didn't... hey! No throwing things!

Alas, it is not actually possible to go that fast here... at least not for very long without hitting something or someone... or both. You are assaulted with a menagerie of slow moving vehicles, people on the wrong side of the road, and cows. What's more, you will occasionally be stopped by a semi truck that decided to park in the middle of the street... sideways, or even by the occasional horde of factory workers.

That thick line of people went back and to the left... way left.

This last phenomena, known universally as 'lunch time', makes traveling difficult.

As evidenced in these photos, unending lines of human assembly line workers flood from a nearby shoe factory, zeroing in on the vendor stalls across the street from work. Of course, the vendors care mostly 'bout the money, so they setup anywhere they can, including on the road itself.




What's interesting to note about this particular factory, New Star Shoes Ltd., is twofold. One, all workers are equipped with nearly identical umbrellas.

They really are nice looking umbrellas.

While this is harmless, and actually a little sweet if the company bought them, the next oddity is something a few of you may find disturbing.

While watching the crowds, it was interesting to note the vast amount of workers stretching from behind us all the way into the compound and beyond bore similarities. The uniforms and umbrellas, sure, but also their ages. The average worker age was probably 19 or 20.

This means a bell curve, to those of you in statistics, ranging from 37 to, you guessed it, 12. There were also a few girls even younger looking than that in the mix too.





Child labor isn't a good thing folks. 10 year olds and 12 year olds should be in school, not working 8 to 10 hours in a hot garment or shoe factory. It's wrong, and probably illegal by some international convention or another. If any of you are activists, feel free to jot down the name of the company before reading further. I'm sure you can find some interesting connections between it and some more familiar shoe companies you know. :)

Welcome to the mini-mall of sacrificial altars!

Other interesting obstacles included a nasty, worn out section of road (trucks are overloaded remember? Smashes the road into something resembling lumpy oatmeal fired in a kiln), and a bend in the path overlooking a scenic... mass of people praying for luck. Yes, there's a spot where people decided it was a prime place to pray for luck on the road and for a safe trip. Why? I don't know, but there's a bunch of mini-temples or spirit houses stretched along the curb, with tourists flocking to take photos, and locals flocking to pray they don't hit the tourists, and vice-versa.

Courtesy Eric Hanson Photography. I really need to get you guys a link. He sometimes sells these photos professionally, you know.

We eventually arrived to the beachside resort town known as Sihanoukville. Due to the expansive and photograph-filled nature of the visit, I'll be posting again about the adventures that occurred inside the city limits.

Until then, keep making those plans to visit, and I'll keep giving you more and more reason to come.

On vacation

Well, we're off on our first real vacation! We're headed out to Sihanoukville to go to the beach.

It'll be a little bit, but I'll be posting a nice little piece on what the beach is like here, and all the cool stuff we find and see. In the meantime, as is tradition, I leave you a nice picture to look over.

A defensible position...

What did you think of the teams? Pretty awesome, yeah?

Well, the awesomeness has only begun!

Singapore team (and a few others!).

Remember I mentioned the Singapore team did a self defense class? Well, as I see it, if you are ever going to visit here, you might find these teachings handy. You also might find them entertaining, which is even better.

Ancient martial artists all know that the secret to teaching great fighting skills is liberal use of the iPad.

They started the lesson by going over some basic rules - be aware of your surroundings, don't go into dark alleys alone... you know, common sense stuff. After the preliminaries were over, the real fun began.

Srey Pea's secret technique - Kung-Fu Fish Lips!

The first lesson, after keeping their guard up, had to do with being approached by someone. Here, if they are trying to take you, they may approach you and try to intimidate you into meekly following them. This works better than it should, and threat of force results in people getting kidnapped, and trafficked or worse.

Trafficking is a big problem here, as I've mentioned before and also shown you with Theavy's story. Girls and children are especially at risk. The girls were quite happy to receive this training.

Some young boys attended too, believing this was more of a Ninja class. :)





To avoid dropping your guard, always turn to face someone who approaches you. Never let them get to your side. Also, if they try talking, keep your hands up as if you were pondering a question. This leaves you a faster response time if they lunge.

That's very interesting sir. What big eyes you have...

Next up, they went over what to do if you are grabbed. If they grab your arm, thrust your arm upward at their thumbs. This will break their grip. What's next? Run away!

I don't think she really felt like running away. It wasn't just the boys who thought this was Ninja class!

If they grab your neck, again pushing straight up is your best bet, making sure you put your arms on the inside of theirs. Yes, then you run. :)

Remember, don't try this at home... unless you are Chuck Norris. Then do whatever you want. :)

Their philosophy was that the best defense is a good... defense. Yes, I know it sounds strange based on what the movies have all taught us, but remember, this is generally a gentle, peaceful people, and they are also not exactly the types to practice kickboxing aerobics or hang out at the gym working on their 'core' or whatever. Most targeted people are going to be weaker, or possibly even frail if they haven't eaten properly (America isn't the only country with self-image issues). Sure, they could attack right back, but it would be like walking up to an elephant and slapping it a few times with a wet paper towel.

Good luck with that. :)

They did teach a few offensive maneuvers just in case. One was to use your hands and arms to meet a lunging attacker. Essentially, if they start to attack lean into it and shove hard. Often this will unbalance the attacker leaving you freedom to run.

Crouching Catbeast, Hidden Gecko.

In many instances, this proved very effective even in practice, resulting in flying hair, and, occasionally, flying people (See my comment about Ninjas).



After a healthy round of pushing and shoving, they moved on to the devastating Rhino Horn attack.


What's a Rhino Horn? Well, as easy as it would be to insert a Kung-fu Panda reference right here, it really is a good move to have in your awesome arsenal of awesome justice (there's your Panda reference folks).

Warning: Failure to think happy thoughts when attempting to fly may result in unexpected outcomes... such as landing flat on Tinkerbell.

The Rhino Horn involves placing both arms over your head and face while sticking your elbow farther out and well, charging.

Everybody was Kung-fu fight-ing.... what? You knew the song would come up eventually.

If assaulted by a group, aim for the leader. Once they are down, the other attackers will flee and leave you to run away without further interference.

Srey Peah's other ultra-effective secret move - the no-holds-barred flying tackle. Um... don't get on her bad side, K?

That ended the session, for the most part. There were thank-you's and congrats passed around, and pillows - or people - picked up off the floor.

Ahh, but you didn't think it would really end there, did you? I always seem to catch a good scoop or angle on these posts, and I happened to pick up one more secret technique from the group that no one else got to learn.

iPhone-fu!

Yes! They taught me the great art of falling asleep while pretending to check email! This maneuver was so convincing, that it took me a full minute and much inner debate before I was convinced the person wasn't really just reading slowly. Amazing... and useful if you want to appear alert even when you sleep!

Well, that's it for now. I hope you never find yourself in a position to need these teachings. Really, I hope the girls and guys from the class don't either. Until next time, whether you are here reading this, or back in your home country, always take time to find a way to 'fight' trafficking.

You should probably leave the puns to me though. ;)