A defensible position...

What did you think of the teams? Pretty awesome, yeah?

Well, the awesomeness has only begun!

Singapore team (and a few others!).

Remember I mentioned the Singapore team did a self defense class? Well, as I see it, if you are ever going to visit here, you might find these teachings handy. You also might find them entertaining, which is even better.

Ancient martial artists all know that the secret to teaching great fighting skills is liberal use of the iPad.

They started the lesson by going over some basic rules - be aware of your surroundings, don't go into dark alleys alone... you know, common sense stuff. After the preliminaries were over, the real fun began.

Srey Pea's secret technique - Kung-Fu Fish Lips!

The first lesson, after keeping their guard up, had to do with being approached by someone. Here, if they are trying to take you, they may approach you and try to intimidate you into meekly following them. This works better than it should, and threat of force results in people getting kidnapped, and trafficked or worse.

Trafficking is a big problem here, as I've mentioned before and also shown you with Theavy's story. Girls and children are especially at risk. The girls were quite happy to receive this training.

Some young boys attended too, believing this was more of a Ninja class. :)





To avoid dropping your guard, always turn to face someone who approaches you. Never let them get to your side. Also, if they try talking, keep your hands up as if you were pondering a question. This leaves you a faster response time if they lunge.

That's very interesting sir. What big eyes you have...

Next up, they went over what to do if you are grabbed. If they grab your arm, thrust your arm upward at their thumbs. This will break their grip. What's next? Run away!

I don't think she really felt like running away. It wasn't just the boys who thought this was Ninja class!

If they grab your neck, again pushing straight up is your best bet, making sure you put your arms on the inside of theirs. Yes, then you run. :)

Remember, don't try this at home... unless you are Chuck Norris. Then do whatever you want. :)

Their philosophy was that the best defense is a good... defense. Yes, I know it sounds strange based on what the movies have all taught us, but remember, this is generally a gentle, peaceful people, and they are also not exactly the types to practice kickboxing aerobics or hang out at the gym working on their 'core' or whatever. Most targeted people are going to be weaker, or possibly even frail if they haven't eaten properly (America isn't the only country with self-image issues). Sure, they could attack right back, but it would be like walking up to an elephant and slapping it a few times with a wet paper towel.

Good luck with that. :)

They did teach a few offensive maneuvers just in case. One was to use your hands and arms to meet a lunging attacker. Essentially, if they start to attack lean into it and shove hard. Often this will unbalance the attacker leaving you freedom to run.

Crouching Catbeast, Hidden Gecko.

In many instances, this proved very effective even in practice, resulting in flying hair, and, occasionally, flying people (See my comment about Ninjas).



After a healthy round of pushing and shoving, they moved on to the devastating Rhino Horn attack.


What's a Rhino Horn? Well, as easy as it would be to insert a Kung-fu Panda reference right here, it really is a good move to have in your awesome arsenal of awesome justice (there's your Panda reference folks).

Warning: Failure to think happy thoughts when attempting to fly may result in unexpected outcomes... such as landing flat on Tinkerbell.

The Rhino Horn involves placing both arms over your head and face while sticking your elbow farther out and well, charging.

Everybody was Kung-fu fight-ing.... what? You knew the song would come up eventually.

If assaulted by a group, aim for the leader. Once they are down, the other attackers will flee and leave you to run away without further interference.

Srey Peah's other ultra-effective secret move - the no-holds-barred flying tackle. Um... don't get on her bad side, K?

That ended the session, for the most part. There were thank-you's and congrats passed around, and pillows - or people - picked up off the floor.

Ahh, but you didn't think it would really end there, did you? I always seem to catch a good scoop or angle on these posts, and I happened to pick up one more secret technique from the group that no one else got to learn.

iPhone-fu!

Yes! They taught me the great art of falling asleep while pretending to check email! This maneuver was so convincing, that it took me a full minute and much inner debate before I was convinced the person wasn't really just reading slowly. Amazing... and useful if you want to appear alert even when you sleep!

Well, that's it for now. I hope you never find yourself in a position to need these teachings. Really, I hope the girls and guys from the class don't either. Until next time, whether you are here reading this, or back in your home country, always take time to find a way to 'fight' trafficking.

You should probably leave the puns to me though. ;)